The Madame Lives

I am alone
As always along this journey
I walk the path 
With only myself as company.

There are friends
And members of related blood
Who keep in touch 
When at their own convenience.

I often wonder
What is my true purpose here
I often shed tears
From the frustrations of life.

Their is such a song in my soul
A rhythmic beating of drums and chants
That I cannot play or understandably explain
But I know its there with a vibrance and intensity
Yearning to break free and soar and swirl wide and far reaching

Then fear and doubt set in
The song fastly tucks itself back inside
Disappointment comes and crashes over me like waves
No one seems to notice that the music has stopped
The clouds pass over the warm and bright sun

I am alone
As always along this journey
I walk the path
With only myself as company

I am woman
So weak on bad days
Yet I go strong
I win in the end

It's mine alone
This battle to be happy
To find various ways
That sparks my inspirational ambition

It's mine alone
The judgement from my creator
I am not perfect
But it knows my souls choice

I am woman
So weak on bad days
Yet I go strong
I win in the end

It's mine alone
The success and the failures
Its called my practice
How can I grow without mistakes?

I am woman alone
As always along this journey so weak on my bad days
Yet I go strong I walk the path
With only myself as company I win in the end.

REVERIE

Four years have passed since I last saw you

I walked away without ever looking back

Now and then you would creep into my thoughts

You have even made a few appearances in my dreams.

Then fate seems it would play its hand again

I stood outside the store waiting for my friend

And there you were walking by, I thought I had recognized a voice, 

Stopping to ask me for a light....

11 years earlier I had sat on a park bench 

Not far from that store where we would meet again,

You asked to bum a smoke, those eyes struck me with such force,

I think you asked me for a light then too....

I have found since that fateful first day

Love never makes sense, and we will never truly understand it

Our human intelligence is only so capable

Our human emotions are even less.

The last dream was brilliant and forgiving to my meek heart 

Helped me understand part of the divine plan;

You were hurt somehow, and I'd found you, 

I took you in to a caregivers house, who asked me why to bother with you

I replied with my full heart and soul, 

"because he is important, whether he himself or anyone knows it, I just know"

Maybe our creator's plan had me to see you through their eyes, not my human ones

That's why you, nor I ever understood how I could have loved you

I did very much love you. Or tried to and tried to show it the best I could

I think the lack of understanding scared you, made you insecure, 

You had closed your heart to any good honest love, and drove me away

So afraid that I would make you feel like a fool for trying.

Two weeks have flown by when I last saw your different yet familiar face

Last night I dreamed of you and will likely day dream over the next few weeks.

I still wish you well as you continue on this better path you have finally chosen

I hope you see now that you are loved and important in your own life, and apparently still in mine.

*The Rose*

November.30.2013

The Birchett Sisters Sing "Thank You" by Boyz II Men

Remember This..

Its interesting how some people say they "Remember" and "Thank" and "Appreciate" the lives of the countless men and woman who have served and sacrificed in wars for the freedoms we have, for one day out of the year, when they spend the rest of the year bitching about all of their first world problems. REALLY? I wont give examples of the facebook statuses I have seen today alone in which prove this, as I am sure you can pick several in your own news feed. So I'll just say this: These people deserve more than one minute of your silence and more than one day of your rememberance, and certainly more than a lousy government being in charge of their benefits and pensions. What are you doing today to truly honor them? Reflect on that!

I WILL WIN!

"If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible." Anthony Robbins

Month End

This is what shipping looked like as of 12pm today. Is it any wonder why I am totally exhausted? :P

Isometric Graph Design

Completely hand drawn except for the faint blue graph lines.

Pheonix

Pheonix

My affections for you
Of passion, of enchantment
Boundless and deathless
Beyond what I have felt or imagined
Of ever feeling in a lifetime
I have called as mine own.

I will conquer the mountains
That rise and crumble to the earth
I will master the rivers and wild seas
That flood and receed to the oceans
Where they birthed.

This love is indefinite
Despite any suffering I must bare for it
No matter what future it must abide
The Pheonix has emerged reborn
Ready to sustain this adventure.

*The Rose*

Geometric meets Zentangle

My first sketch that uses both Isometric design and Zentagle patterns. Not too bad. Sometimes when you screw something up it helps create this whole new world for us to discover and delight in. :-D

Lets Go For A Walk!

Its tuesday and I have not gone for my run at the gum since last tuesday or monday (:s)so I really had no choice in going today. Not if I want to meet my fitness goals by the end of the year! All day today my muscles ached from atrophy because I was lazy over the long weekend and didnt work out at ALL! It goes to show how much the body gets used to and craves fitness and how quickly it starts to break down when we neglect to keep up with our routine! It makes me excited actually that I have reached this level in my life, and in my fitness. I really can not go back to that person I was 5 years ago without serious harm done to my body and my mentality. Lots of friends say or have said that I am a strong person, but I dont think I appreciate that about myself enough for it to truly sink in. I mostly see my flaws and insecurities along with my weakenesses that threaten to consume me if I dont keep my shit together. However today is ONE of those days when I CAN see the results of this slow (and tedious) transformation and really appreciate the strength that I have to persevere. To JUST KEEP GOING! To be brave enough to say I will try again tomorrow! So many people today just give up and grow bitter when it doesnt work out the way THEY wanted it to. Rather than the way that would be BEST for them to LEARN from. Or better still,people today have this IDIOTIC belief that they are ENTITLED to have it their way, to have their desires handed to them with no effort or any hard work made on their part. I blame the media mostly for this way of thinking that has become of society, along with the government. (ONLY A GOVERNMENT THAT FEELS ENTITLED WOULD SPEND AND WRITE OFF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF TAX PAYERS MONEY ON CARS,VACATIONS, CLOTHES, AND BANQUET DINNER "ALLOWANCES". RATHER THAN ALLOTING THAT MONEY TO OUR EDUCATION, HEALTH CARE, AND POLICE GOVERNED SYSTEMS!!! AN ENTITLED GOVERNMENT ALSO FORCES OUR VETERNS TO LIVE ON WELFARE!!!) But Im getting off topic here my friends so let me try to reel it back in. I showed up at the gym today after work like I usually do and sat down to put on my running shoes. On the wall across from me I see this poster about a Walk/Run Marathon happening at the end of this month! My heart skips a beat and my brain is already planning on how we get involved in this event! Luckily I didnt have to sneak the poster home with me as the gym had these little bookmark type cards on the front desk. So far this year I have accomplished a 4k walk that I only timed myself. And here is another opportunity for me to go beyond what I have done so far and prove to myself of just how strong  and persevering I can be! While being timed by them! I see that it will also cost me in registering to participate this time, yet as from what I understand the money i going toward the conservation of the Grand River and its trails! WIN WIN!

Carnie Row at the Paris Fair

Took this shot on my phone, using the panaramic option. I loves it!

Paris Fair and Clean Underwear!

I have never really been excited about the Paris Fair since I was a teenager. And before then it was mostly excitement over the food! There were also a few rides that I enjoyed when I didnt have anxiety as I do today. However this year of 2013 is different somehow. Maybe its the new me that has emerged since my brain chemicals decided to go on hiatus. Over the last three years I have been on a very difficult journey of learning how to conqure my fears and my extreme mood swings and intense emotions as well as eating disorders. (Yes fat people have eating disorders too!) Anyway with all of that mostly behind me now. I have managed to find my feet and regained my lust for the adventure of life, meaningful friendships, and creative endevours. And thanks to my friend Aly I found myself inspired to buy a weekend pass to the Paris Fair. Sometimes we just have to follow that small yet fleeting voice that says "Do it!". And sometimes when that voice says "Dont!" You should also listen. (Another story for later) So Thursday I show up to the gates and ask the lady there if I could get a weekend pass. Well she let me right in saying I could just go to the office building and buy one. It was pleasantly surprising that she trusted me enough to allow me in without charge so that I could purchase a weekend pass, at a lower price I might add! Maybe its part of living in a smaller community where we like to believe in honest good people, and maybe I just got lucky! Last night I was again lucky enough to meet up with my very good friends and we spent the evening walking around in circles, being bumped into, cut in front of, heckled at by carnies, fighting bad cellphone reception, and watching over hyperactive children. Yet we laughed, we ate, we awed, screamed with excitement, and was one of the best times I have spent at the Fair in the last 29 years of my life! Its awesome how everyday I learn more and more how wealthy I am in the quality of friends I have and the memories I am blessed to have made with them. In the end thats all we are able to take with us isnt it? I make enough money to afford gas in my car, food for my body, and other basic needs I may have from day to day. And in the end it wont matter how much I made at my job, what kind of car I drove, the type of house or apartment I lived in. What will matter is what I made of what was given to me, and possibly the blessing of whom I got to share it with. And so maybe you are still asking why the underwear in the title? Well today is laundry day, and because I dont care for doing laundry I usually wait until Ive gone through ALL of my underwear before I force myself to do it. And while I spend the next few hours going through the piles and folding afterwards I felt it is a good day to do some writing and reflecting. Hopefully more will come soon as I will want/need clean underwear again!
Vness

Discovery of Zentangle and Op art

From Shopping Cart to Dinner Table: A Photo Story

A) Standing in line with needed items to complete operation
B) All the major items to be used during the mission. Some items include food colouring, greek yogurt, red skin potatoes, basil, and wooden skewers.
C) Spider Deviled Eggs made with pitted black olives marinated in red cabernet. These were made first.
D) Smashed Baked Potatoes topped with Epicure's Cheese, Chive, and Bacon seasoning. These were made second
E) Avocado Chicken Salad with Barley Water used as a suprise ingredient! Made third while the potatoes were in the oven.
F) Fruit Kabobs with kiwi being the special ingedient here and not melon. These were last on the operation list as most fruit was bought already cut up.
G) All is served with Sangria to drink and some tortilla chips to scoop up the salad with!